You have like the most epic thought or idea I’n the world but forget it when you want to tell the world about it?

Man we need mobile hands free diarys/journals. Literally

Where I was and where I am now. Hearts still heavy… Minds pushin the darkest thoughts into the crevices of my mind. As I tell everyone else I’m okay. Deep down recovery is slow. Communications cut for the good of self recovery. And up until now I was doing good. Till I had a dream about her last night.. Opening the darkest possibilities and crushing any thoughts of hope I have of being any importance I’n her life. Seeking a chance at closure and a lasting friendship. Knowing the best thing to do is keep this to myself… Time apart from each other. Time to reflect. Time to work on myself. We got together for a reason. And we broke apart for a reason. If it’s meant to be. I will see her I’n the future if it’s not. I will move on. I won’t force it. I won’t push it. But I can’t stop contemplating about it. Funny… My conscious mind is working on the here and now. But my subconscious is stuck on the good memories of the past. Reflecting on the bad ones; and is trying to recreate a possible future. And this whole time I tried to convince myself I was completely over her. But my heart new better. And so now here I am. Mr invisible. Let’s keep these thoughts to yourself. As you work on becoming better. Silently productive.

Havent written here in awhile and I had another wierd dream (didn’t know babe was following) so somehow… babe’s hometown and my hometown got combined… cause i saw traits of both.. I went out there to visit babe really early in the morning and well… she wasn’t there… I asked her sister where she was and she said that she went out and told me she would be back shortly… it was really trippy cause in my dream… their houseI asked to stay and she let me stay… Lee had a friend over too and she kept constantly asking me questions about myself and babe… It’s wierd cause I haven’t really met many of Lee’s friends if any at all… so confused me why she was there… I waited and waited… and waited… babe still didn’t come back after hours… I started to feel a little hopeless.. goin all the way there and she isn’t home… and then kameron shows up out of no where O.O i go outside and talk to him… and i notice oz’s mr2 parked down the block.. o.O hella confused me and kam walk around the neighborhood… as we walk and talk all around the neighborhood block we come back… and he’s like “so Thomas guess what?” i was like what? and he tells me that he was supposed to be there to stall me… and all of a sudden Kamerons car comes running in really fast.. and what do you know… both oz… and my Gf are in the car.. Babe hella gets outta the car and charges towards me… i finally smile.. jux being able to see her… and she jumps into my arms… and wraps her arms around my neck and legs around my waist… and kisses me… oz and kam smile and start to walk away giving us our moment… and after awhile we stop kissing… and jux stare into each others eyes teddy bear kissing… I asked babe what she’s been doing all day… why wasn’t she home… Babe doesn’t say anything back… I give her the confused look… and she jux keeps staring into my eyes… after awhile she kisses me… again this time really long….and after she stops… she just says… don’t ever let go of me kay? Lee starts crying out of no where o.o and closes the door.. apparently she was there the whole time watching… and things jux got more intimate from then and there…

Somehow though.. after that we transitioned into being in a tire shop with damn near all my friends and babe and some of her family.. the brothers and sister’s I have met… and it was like another zombie land apocalypse moment again… we were fighting are way out of the place… using big rims to kill the zombies and stuff… I wake up cause i fall off the rescue vehicle that came to save all of us… and my neck snaps from the fall…. =/

I had one hell of a weird dream last night.. I was in some type of mansion with underground levels and stuff.. and there were robots like bicentennieal man? o.O.. anyway.. I was with a friend don’t remember who, and we were being attacked by some hate gang.. so this mansion was set in like the middle of a desert or beach or something? either way it was really secluded.. and well it seems like the hate gang was trying to eliminate me cause they wanted to steal away my girlfriend… (yea she’s beautiful I know but damn gotta make a hate gang against me? O.o) anyway the bicentennial man were there for a reason apparently they were robots there to help us out. we had some control over them. so the mansion was pretty dull on the outside.. not sure why and the levels didn’t seem to have much purpose.. it was more of a maze then anything. anyway what my friend and I planned was to use the bicentennial men and have them guard parts of the maze like passage ways of the mansion. then use some of them to ward off the people coming to attack us.. while he controlled the robots, I would sneak out through the side passageways and try to go after m girlfriend… I didn’t really know where babe was, but somehow, since it was a dream, it lead me to her without me really knowing… She was on a boat only being guarded by 2 guys pretty lame protection if you asked me, but one of the guys was holding a whip as a weapon, the other a giant pink slipper o.O? anyway to cut it short it was one weird ass dream with robots odd people odd setting and odd weapons. yea I saved babe in the end, and I got a kiss [= but she whacked me right after saying I was late and she was hungry.. LOL